Gratitude

It’s a simple word, no? And yet, I know so many people who could benefit from it. Of course, just saying that makes me sound like I have it all together, doesn’t it? I don’t, and I am not about to judge anyone else, but one thing that I have learned over the last year is that I have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes it’s not until something important is ripped away from you do you realize what you still have and how much it means to you.

I lost my job a year ago. It sucked. I loved that job. Well, I loved the work that I did and most of the people I worked, and I was GOOD at it! However, my manager was NOT good at her job and chose to blame anyone around that she could. I just didn’t get out of the line of fire fast enough. Suffice it to say that stuff is still going down there, so they must finally realize it wasn’t me, or the plethora of other people who have been in HR getting blamed for God knows what. Maybe they will finally fix the problem.

Nonetheless, I had stood up for what I believed in and yet I still lost my job. It was upsetting to say the least, but the next day, I felt like a huge burden had been lifted (much like I felt the day I decided to kick #2 to the curb). I took stock of what had been happening – I had adjusted my schedule to accommodate work which sacrificed time with my boys, I lacked sleep because of it, my blood pressure was creeping up when it had always been quite low, I was on an anti-depressant with Xanax and Valium on the side as needed. When you figure in all of that, the job didn’t seem so rosy anymore. I immediately weaned myself off the medication and started running again. I lost weight and felt better about myself. With my confidence and self-respect restored, it was easy as pie to get offered not one but two jobs at the company of my dreams.

I am grateful for the learning experience. I’ve learned that we should be grateful for the bad as well as the good because they teach us valuable lessons. Believe me, there are things I will never forget and will never repeat. Making new friends at work this year has been challenging, mostly because I was afraid to trust anyone again. But I have an outgoing, likable personality (I guess) and I couldn’t stave them off for long. I do have several close friends here now, am well-liked on my team, and I am exceedingly happy.

I also used what I went through as a teaching moment for my kids. They had seen me struggle and yes, complain, about work for so long, then watched me hit my low point and yet bounce back. They saw me take on the challenge of looking for a new job relentlessly, and luckily I was able to eventually get the offers from the first company I applied with. (thanks, Mike!). To set that example for my boys – it is an invaluable experience to show them that I am resilient, yet humble. That perseverance and believing in yourself go a long way. And that standing up for yourself and others and for what you believe is right is never wrong.

Not only did I get a better job, but I have much better hours, more money than I could ever have made at my old one (I was capped out there), better benefits, with a company that is world-renowned and growing exponentially in their field, and best of all? I am respected as a “highly valued” member of our team (that was from my first review here, something my old manager could never bring herself to write about me). My career self-respect has been restored in spades.

I’m not just grateful for my job, but for the entire experience that got me to this point, good or bad. I love my boys and would do anything for them, I am thankful I can provide a nice home for them and keep them fed and in decent clothes, that I can (so far) send my oldest to college (3 semesters to go!), that I have so many close friends and family members I can rely on if I need to or even just sit around and talk with, and that I have the love of a wonderful man showered on me each and every day. I appreciate living in a free country, and that we have a military force to protect this right, and people like my dad and cousin who keep watch and protect us while we sleep.

Each and every day I try to remember to be thankful for what I have because there are so many that have a lot less. I try to teach my kids the importance of altruism and not to just think of themselves, both by word and example. Just a few months ago, I realized I had gotten my point across. My middle son works at McDonald’s and posted on Facebook that a homeless man had come into the restaurant with his dog that day, but before he could order anything, the manager refused him service because he had brought the dog inside. The man mumbled an apology and left, whispering to his dog how sorry he was that he couldn’t feed him. A few minutes later, my son went out to deliver food to a waiting car and noticed the man sitting on the ground near the dumpster with his dog in his lap. It was my son’s break time, so he went back inside, ordered his free meal, and delivered it to the man and his dog instead of eating it himself (with a few extra sandwiches thrown in). I cried the day I read that, and I am crying now as I type this. Being a single parent is the hardest job there is, but I know I did something right for them to have such caring hearts. THAT is what I am most grateful for – the unconditional loving nature of my children, and that I get to be a part of their lives.