When I first spotted TK at our sons' baseball game, I honestly thought he was my age. He looked like he was at least forty, had more grey hair than even salt-and-pepper, and was thinning out on top just a tiny bit. To me, he looked distinguished, and quite handsome. (I think distinguished is a word we women use to refer to a gentleman who perhaps may look a bit older, certainly not younger, but still quite easy on the eyes.) I admit I was intrigued. And when I caught him looking my way, those beautiful light blue eyes captivated me. I had to know more about him.
My dad was a cop my entire life, and only just recently retired completely from law enforcement. He instilled in me a guarded optimism - it's not that I am not trusting, but I do hedge my bets when I feel it is necessary. And after some of the men I have met in my life, I am conditioned to be quite careful in that regards. So yes, I Google people. I have discovered quite a bit when doing so, and have outed several men in lies they were perpetuating (the worst one being that a particular male had a restraining order against him for stalking a woman three months before we began talking, something that did not actually surprise me from the way he had been acting... and I ended it right then.)
I did Google TK, but really didn't learn much. I had heard from his son that his wife had passed away, and I did find her obituary online. It gave her age at the time, five years previously, so I assumed that TK was about her age, making him about five years younger than me. Okay, I could deal with that. I have been told quite often that I look younger than I actually am - people used to tell my mom that, too, so it must be in my genes. If I look younger, and he looks older...
A few weeks later, I was bored so I Googled him again, and finally found an age for him. Hmmm, it appeared he might actually be seven years younger than me, not five like I had thought. Which would also mean that his wife was older than him, giving the impression that he liked older women? Still, I didn't have a problem with that, and I wasn't sure the age listed was correct anyway - you know how the internet is. Heck, sometimes they have #2's age listed as mine and he is four years older than me! Oh, no, we can't have that!
Once TK and I actually started talking, we briefly joked about Googling each other, but I never told him what I had found. We had danced around the age thing, with me never actually telling him how old I was. I know he had Googled me, trying to guess my middle name, and I warned him not to believe what age he might find (meaning that #2's might be listed instead). One day, after weeks had gone by, I asked if he had figured out how old I was. He replied that he thought he knew how old I was, but he had seen me in a bikini and there was no way I was the age Google told him I was. Awwww! That was one helluva compliment!
I don't think I have an issue with my age (45), because I look and feel much younger. I have to admit, a couple of years ago, I probably did look my age. But I started running and taking better care of myself, and became more diligent about keeping the grey out of my hair, plus I think the confidence I feel with myself and in my life helps project a more youthful appearance. In any event, I firmly believe you are only as old as you feel, and I'm going with 35. Of course, when I have a twenty-year-old son, it's a little hard to explain that I didn't have him when I was fifteen!
So yeah, I think TK has figured out my age, but he just doesn't care. If anything, I am probably more youthful than him. He has said that years of working in his industry has put major strain on his knees, so he feels his age a lot more than I do. He was never a runner, but for whatever reason, after we started dating, he took up running and actually enjoys it. To me, running makes me feel younger and more alive, and I hope that's how he feels, too. We haven't actually run together yet - I don't know if he is intimidated by me because I have been running longer, or if I am intimidated by his younger, male body, but in March, we will be running a half marathon together. I ran my first one last month and it was one of the greatest achievements of my life - and a bucket list item I got to check off. The elation I felt after was incredible - so much so that I added completing a full marathon to my bucket list. Let's see if the younger man can keep up with me for that!
All in all, I have no qualms about dating a man seven years my junior. As long as it doesn't bother him, I am good. I think he finally knows my age - one day he asked me what my Chinese Zodiac sign was, I guess to see if we were supposed to be compatible, and asked if it was the rat. I said no, I think it's the monkey, then teased him that he only asked because he was trying to figure out how old I was. So now he knows what year I was born, he knows my birthday...I imagine he's smart enough to do the math.
Someone called me a cougar one day, and I was not offended. I mean, I certainly didn't set out to go after a younger man. Matter of fact, on my online dating profile, I only put that I was seeking a man a couple of years younger to approximately ten years older than me. I just didn't think someone that much younger than me would be interested. Besides, I didn't set out to be a cougar, and yet the title means nothing to me. Another friend who is TK's age, joked with me about going after the younger men. I told him that it's not that I go after them, but that age range seems to be the ones interested in ME (my last relationship was with a man-boy who was 38). Who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
I do have limits. I personally could not date someone who was young enough to be my son. Ewwww. Besides the ewww factor my son would feel. And what if they would want to have kids???? Nope, I think this baby factory is closed. The only way that would happen is if I won the lottery and didn't have to work anymore or worry about money and financing college. And I don't see THAT happening! (Can't win if you don't play, right?)
Maybe it helps that TK looks older than his age. I won't tell him that, but it's true. It puts us more on the same level. So if I start showing my age, and he is already looking a bit more distinguished, then I don't think he'll turn me over for a younger model. At least I hope not. But I can't think about that. Ex #2 turned me over for an older one! LOL! I guess it's not really an issue for me. As long as I am happy with TK and he is happy with me, then I will live in the moment and enjoy the love of a (much) younger man. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment