Last time, I mentioned the man I met through my son's baseball team. Met? Well, we hadn't actually "met" yet, merely seen each other at a few games. And....it was more than that, because I would catch him glancing at me during the games, following me with his eyes as we loaded into the car and left afterwards. I didn't mind. Matter of fact, I was intrigued.
I learned a little about him from some of the other parents. I had also met his dad, who helped him with the kids, getting them to games, practices, and such. My friends and I deduced that he was at least single, and appeared to have the kids all the time. Then his son mentioned to some of the boys on the team that his mother had passed away...so sad to hear. I think I at least waited a few minutes after hearing this before putting it together that he may be available. Have I no shame???!!!
Still, I wasn't sure how to approach this. He was cute, appeared to be active in his kids' lives, had a job (yay!), took care of himself, and seemed to be somewhat interested in me, if the glances my way were any indication. There were several other single moms on the team, and I observed him at a few of the games - none of the other moms seemed to catch his eye. This was a good sign, I thought.
One detriment - #2 was at most of the games, and always seemed to think it necessary to sit as close to me as possible. I am quite sure this is his way of assuaging any lingering guilt he had over the demise of our marriage (believe me, he better have plenty of that) - thinking that if there's an appearance that I can tolerate him, then maybe he's been forgiven and we can pretend everything's fine. Yeah, no. Besides the fact that I almost always had at least one other son with me, and you can imagine that I wasn't exactly approachable by someone who might want to ask me out.
I talked to my girlfriends about this, and they encouraged me to talk to him, ask him out, give him my number. But I wasn't even sure he was available! And the last time I had asked someone out when I didn't know their status, it backfired. Still, I was willing to try what I could - because I had decided last year to live in the moment without regrets. Could I live with myself if I didn't talk to him, and never saw him again? I didn't want to have to find out. Live in the moment!
I did make an attempt at conversation after one game, though #2 walked right up next to us, so the conversation was essentially over before it started. I got a reply to my question, and that was as far as it went. Another time, I sat quite near him on the bleachers before the game started, and though he showed interest in my conversations with others, he never tried to start one with me. Odd indeed. Granted, my son was sitting on the other side of me - maybe he was afraid to talk to me with my son there. Oh, and #2 kept making sketchy appearances, which could have been a deterrant.
At the last game of the regular season, I finally decided it was now or never. And it ended up being never, because his daughter came to the game, and I just couldn't approach him with her there. I did see him following me with his eyes, which was the only reason I was still thinking about him! Seriously, he seemed interested, but was he ever going to make a move? It just wasn't going to be that night. Damn.
The next week, the entire team went to the local minor league baseball game. I took pictures during the game, and even sent a few to TK (who was working), but I never got a response. I honestly felt then that if he could not respond to an email, then perhaps he wasn't interested like I thought he was and I should let it go.
In the meantime, my son finally decided where he wanted to have his birthday party, so he made a list of kids to invite, and TK's son was on it. I sent out the invitations online, and was delighted when TK responded that his son would be there. Yay!!! Yet, on the day of the party? TK's dad brought his son and dropped him off. I could not have been more disappointed. By this time, my oldest son (who had overheard my friends at one of the games) had figured out what was going on, and told me he was sorry. I knew what he meant, and that he really meant it. What a sad day. But I had tried my best.
Then an inspiration struck later that afternoon. My son needed to send thank you notes, and I needed an address. So I emailed TK and asked for his. He responded and thanked me for the invite, saying that his son had had a good time. And that was it. Dang it!!! So was that it??? I stewed about it for a few minutes, irritated that he was never going to express any further interest, and then I remembered: no regrets. How could I live with myself knowing I hadn't tried everything I could?
And so I sent one more email: Can I ask you a question? He replied, Of course? And I asked if he was seeing anyone. He replied that he was not, and should he have come to the party??? We exchanged a few more emails before he offered his cell number, and we haven't stopped texting since. It's been over three months...
I was right - having my ex and my kids near me made things a little more difficult as far as him approaching me. He was interested - he said he loved my energy and drive, and the fact that I was attractive! Wow, he's a keeper already! And though we haven't discussed why exactly he never thought to email me, he has told me that he is glad that I reached out to him. I am, too. Because I have no regrets. And this man could very easily be the one I have been waiting for.
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